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Report transcript in: ADASS East - Alice talks about her frustrations of trying to get support for her son to move out of the family home
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ADASS East - Alice talks about her frustrations of trying to get support for her son to move out of the family home
Please Report the Errrors?
OK, um,
and
my
my son is 20 now, I remember,
uh, self referred to the social care service,
uh, Children's services when he was pretty young when he was first diagnosed.
Because I was at the end of my tater. I was
really depressed. I didn't know how to
to move on.
And you know what?
Nothing came out of it
all they wanted to do because my now this is so long ago. But anyway,
sorry. My, my I'm going to talk very fragmented.
The fact that, um,
nothing came out of the assessment Children assessment.
They weren't going to get any help for him.
And I sort of carry on just with my husband, husband and I,
and that's it.
Now
this is going back again.
Um,
was Was it 10 years ago? No. No, five, probably five or six years ago.
I have requested for another assessment for to get some sort of direct payment.
You know, this is over a period of time.
I learn about what he can get for help, and I must say, yes, it's true. My husband works
and we're quite comfortable, but I I I didn't know much about it. I thought, Oh, maybe
the fact that he wasn't assessing any help, I could use the direct payment
to use it to help him, because he's very limited with what he likes to do.
He only like to be on his own and do very limited things.
He finds social interaction very difficult, social outing very difficult.
So I thought I could sort of apply for that. And that didn't go through.
Fair enough, carry on
and the latest. Now he's 20.
That was like, uh, 1 18 months ago, before the pandemic, I again self refer his
looking for transition,
looking for house and looking for him getting being independent.
We have no support, only husband and I, as I say,
we have no immediate family as well with extended family to help us out, I thought,
Hm, maybe they can give me some sort of help and support, get him a mentor
and slowly
because
I'm admitting I'm I'm failing.
I do not know how to get him to be independent. He has got such
a demand avoidance trade that is so difficult for us to get him to do anything.
And I agree,
I I don't know what else I can do. So I again asked for help. And
despite that, I have to push and push. I have to get in touch with carers at heart
to help me to push for this assessment. And you know what?
I managed to get the assessment
with the help of carers at heart.
And you know what again? Nothing came out of it
because our family are not in crisis, I suppose.
I do understand there are many family worse off than us
that they needed a lot of crisis help. I do understand.
But I don't want him to to be in a situation where you know, he only going to be
plucked out of my home and dumped into somewhere else in crisis.
I want a gentler transition to help him to move out of my house. And
again, I must say, nothing came out of it.
I am
massively, massively disappointed with social care service.
That's all I could say. Very short. Thank you.
Thanks. Alice.
Alice, can I ask you a question?
What would you
What
would you have hoped from social care
for the time being? I want him
to I want As I said, I want them to get a personal mentor to help him,
to get him to be independent.
I I'm struggling with that because he knows how to play us out.
We are leaving just the three of us round and round and round
and
and that that that that's our difficulty.
We have tried so desperately.
Maybe we haven't tried hard that that's why I'm looking for help
and I don't know this. As I said this, we are not in crisis,
you know he's comfortable. He living with us.
He knows he's comfortable.
He knows we were there to support and help him.
But he is coming up to be well, he just celebrated his birthday.
He needs to slowly get independent,
and even with that, I have to get
I said Look, he need to be in a supervised accommodation. Then again, maybe not.
I don't know, I really do not know.
So I I have tried to explore many ways. I even got him
to into social housing. I managed it to apply for him. They have accepted him,
but again, that's another problem is
he's not ready to move out on what am I going to do and the social service say, Look,
as long as he's living with us,
he's not going to get any help.
This is what
the 0 to 25 care team is telling me
the moment that he
is moving out.
They might get him some help, so that is my situation at the moment.
So there you go, plodding on,
plodding on.
I'm fed up. I don't know what else to do.
Sounds really tough.
No, I I don't know whether it's tough. I'm just frustrated.
I mean, as I say, we are not in crisis, but I just want some sort of help. I just want them
to come and get him a mentor to take him away from me.
Just just just just,
you know, just not ask all the time to to to take him out to do things with him.
He's 20. Oh, my goodness,
I I don't know. I don't know. That's why I'm trying to, uh, figure things out as well.
Mhm
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