Report transcript in: From Pauper to Prince: Part Three

Please Report the Errrors?

was. The next question

feeds in as well.

It says,

how has living with multiple disadvantages throughout your life affected you?

Ok, um

I don't know if I'd say that I've lived with him throughout my life. Um,

I was a poor I was brought up, like, you know, in a relatively poor family,

we didn't have much, but

I had a lot of love. Do you know what I mean?

And I thought I was very fortunate because I had two strong parents that

really like they worked that hard, and they supported us loads, you know, And the, um

they never complained. And they always did what they could to get us.

Do you know what we needed? And

they always provided for us.

We never really like.

We never looked really scruffy in front of the other kids or anything like that.

Even if they didn't have much, they always made away. They always made it up.

Do you know?

And yeah.

I mean, there was times where there was, like,

five of us in a tea bed house and things like that.

But that was nothing. Do you know what I mean? Like it was fun. We had loads of fun.

I think my childhood was really good compared to most.

Like, I'm so grateful for that.

Um, the only thing was that, you know,

we have family issues in that, you know, there is, um

it was stuff in my sister and I spoke to her about speaking about this. So

I know that she's OK with me talking about it.

Um,

So I'll like, I'll use discretion and I'll try and protect the integrity.

Um,

yeah, we had issues with my sister, and,

you know, she was She was amazing, your sister. But when she had her child,

she, uh she went into post natal depression, and

she started struggling really massively. And there was some other things as well.

Um,

various different reasons she's presented for how this might come about. But,

you know, she started struggling massively and

mental health and, you know, doctor's appointments, psychiatrist,

hospital stays,

suicide attempts,

drugs, alcohol, parties, abuse

all kinds of things, you know, And

it was constant when we was growing up, and my mum and dad was constantly going out,

trying to trying to rescue her,

trying to fight for her trying to help her trying to assist her.

He was raising my little niece as well.

And she's like my sister because she grew up in the house from there. So

we're really close,

and I was just like I In some ways I was free to do

my own stuff because he was preoccupied quite a lot with my sister.

I was messing about with the lads and stuff, and I thought I was one of the lads,

didn't I?

And,

um, I didn't make the most of it. Potentially.

I had quite a lot of potential,

but I started drinking and partying and smoking weed and going out to,

you know, parties and stuff.

But for the most part, I I I got on a function, and even when I left school,

I went to college and I got all right job and

everything else. So I want to say that

that I live with multiple disadvantage throughout my life. It comes to me when

I split up with my long term partner

and I lost my job

and I lost the place where I was staying

and, uh, lost my car and things like that. Do you know and, uh,

started taking drugs.

My mental health started really deteriorating.

I always took drugs, but started taking them, taking them, not just socially.

And then, um, mental health deteriorated.

And then

yeah, like,

it just got worse and worse, I suppose. And

I was in that cycle, I'd say, For what?

Probably about

hang on.

Probably about six years. Seven years

that I was in that cycle,

so I wouldn't say it's a lifetime.

And I never want to exaggerate, You know, any troubles,

you know,

And

it was a long time,

You know where I struggled with it, but

yeah.

So how did I feel in then?

Seven years. Do you still want to know

that?

I feel like

I'm

talking

right. You're talking.

It's fine.

Um,

that question was how living

with multiple disadvantage throughout your life affected you.

And the next question was, how have your lived experiences changed your life?

Goals, values and perspectives.

I have money that's been changed. My life goals,

values and perspectives.

OK, um,

massively. Do you know the

my lived experiences change my life goals, values and perspectives? Massively.

Um, I mean, I've touched on it before,

you know, about

having empathy, having understanding about this kind of stuff.

Um,

if I wouldn't have got to the point where I did, if I didn't go through what I did,

I didn't find a lot.

Well, just to think what would have happened in all honesty, that's what I mean,

Like, in no way would I trade the life that I have now for the life I was living

before I started going into any kind of trouble.

There's just no comparison on my life so much better. I

have peace and everything else. Um,

my life goes like, Yeah, I mean,

I look at things differently.

Like back then,

I was more motivated by

money.

I was more motivated by, I mean, some kind of status and what people thought of me,

I was more motivated by the things of the world.

You know, like, uh, material things And,

um, women and things like that. And

these things that ultimately like no, like, I just

I don't pursue,

you know, And, um

bye,

I I want my life to have some kind of meaning.

I don't wanna look back on my life and think that I lived it selfishly

I When I look back on my eyes and think that,

um,

I took all the time and I never gave anything,

Do you know? I know what my sa He laid down his life for me. Do you know?

And that's all I want to leave myself. And I just want to

lay down my life for others. And,

you know, I've been fortunate enough to

to see people that live sacrificially and put other people first. And

and even when they're struggling themselves, even when they're hurting,

even when they're suffering inside,

they don't let it show when they get up. And they do what's right about the people and

that, you know, they're strong for other people. And I

I would be like, Ah,

not there yet. You know what I mean? But,

um, I wanna have some kind of legacy.

Doesn't have to be

it Have to be something prominent in the eyes of me. Do you know what I mean?

It doesn't have to be something where

they put me up on like screens or I have some massive funeral or anything like that.

No, I'm not bothered about that.

But

in the eyes of God. Do you know where he could say

that was me? So he always wanted me,

You

know,

be a footprint on someone's heart.

Well, yeah, you know, And if if

even if people I don't want to be naming rights or anything like that,

I'm not even I'm not even looking for gratitude.

But

if at the end of it, because I believe in a judgement there,

I believe there'll be a day where I have to give a count in my life.

And I don't want to be ashamed on that day, you know, I wanna look back and say

I did my best And, uh,

I always tried to live right, And he always

always tried to show your heart to people. God, you know,

um, and that

So that's my That's my ambition. That's my goal. It's not about me.

Um, it's about

what God wants and where he's leading me. And it's like an adventure anyway.

Do you know I get to live like a

life that's better than any fairytale or any fantasy I could have thought of?

And that's not even a lie that I get blown

away sometimes by the places where I find myself.

Um, so yeah, so I'd be grateful with that.

Um, if that was me portion that I could say on that day,

the Lord said he did. All right,

I'd say that,

Um,

so yeah. So I live my life for him? No, not for myself. Not for my own means.

Not for selfish reasons. And I tell you what,

he won't lie when he said it's more blessed to give than to see you because

you got a serious piece inside which you just never knew before. So

it's hard sometimes, but

it's worth it.

Um, so he was like, Oh, what else was the sort

of values?

Oh,

yeah. Like I said, like, you know, got to change my heart. And

the things that I value in this life are

totally different. And I don't

I say I don't value things like, er

I'm not so much seeking for people to honour me,

and I'm not, not as

I'm not 100% now with it because I feel we all like a bit of that sometimes. But

I, uh I'm

really not sort of driven by what people's thoughts are of me anymore. And um,

like the things that I value is more like things like time with my family

going in,

going on a walk with the dog and, you know, like and

just the way that I come over and the dog like,

greets us and stuff like it sounds like a daft thing.

But he gets so excited to see me and stuff.

And I just like,

just little things, like, act

like they mean the world to me now. Whereas, like,

in the past, I was never satisfied.

Even when I'd taken loads of drugs and everything, I always wanted something more,

something better, something bigger.

And it never felt enough.

And then I found God, and it was just like I had contempt and I had peace.

And it was, like, just the biggest difference.

Um,

yeah.

So, like, so, like, the things that I value have changed my actual values as in, like,

my models and things like that.

Um,

they've changed radically in the

in the past. Uh,

I thought I knew what morals were and like I

felt like I was quite moralistic or I was quite

on the surface. I appeared to be a good person in some respects, but

like it's it's changed like it's in my heart. Now. I

I sincerely, like one of the best with other people. I, um

Yeah, I, uh I think that

I think that I'm much more able to live out

being the kind of person that I always wanted to be

that I've never been before.

Um, I always wanted to be a good man in my heart.

I never wanted to be the kind of person that cheated on someone

I always wanted to be like a loyal husband and a faithful husband.

I never wanted to be a lazy man,

do you know?

But like sometimes I find myself being lazy and stuff, I never wanted to be a liar.

And yet I find myself lying.

No, I never wanted to be a

coward. And yet there'd be times where I get afraid.

And like, gradually as you're walking, you've got all them things about yourself,

which you always wanted to be.

The person you always wanted to be.

You feel like it starts empowering you to actually start instead

of just thinking about it and desiring it in your heart,

It empowers you to work it out.

I'm not there yet. Honestly, I'm not like I don't wanna talk myself up by no means.

I've got a long way to go, and I mean that,

but I'm just so much better than

so much more happy in who I'm becoming than the person that I was.

Thank you, Patrick.

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Posted By

Author

Georgia Davenport

Post date

28/04/2023