Report transcript in: HOUSE Project - NACRO Story - A storyteller talks about their journey into their current housing situation

Please Report the Errrors?

and I'm gonna ask you the question. So,

um,

can you tell me what the most significant

change your accommodation has made in your life?

Well, um,

since I start work since I start living in, uh, the accommodation I am now,

uh,

I been able to handle my

my life. Almost like, um, I

I become independent.

Uh, after

before I moved to the the flat, where I am now with macro.

I was living in a shared house. Uh, for about two years, she was with

Cairo's

community trust.

And

we've been always under, uh,

under an eye if you want.

If you if you were, um my support worker was coming over during the drug test.

Uh, I was,

you know, depending on on them,

like I have to do what they what they tell me to do which I I did appreciate because,

you know, it was it was massive hurt as well. After the

talk

and rehab, that was the first stage, Um, move on the house

and And it did help me, uh, fill up the papers, uh,

for me to move on to to another to another place which was,

uh, which was macro. And, uh, yeah, it was about two years ago.

And I I moved to this to this place.

Uh, since then, uh,

I started to, you know, put my life together.

Uh,

What I want to what I want to do What's,

uh what is out there for? For me? Like I start to go to college.

I did,

um, employment academies.

I went to two different employment academies.

Uh,

I was able to continue, uh, working on my on my story. My, my my book.

You know, I was just kind of taking my head,

uh, of, of,

of,

of the problems. Like, I'm

imagining

things that kind of create my own world if you if you were. But it was kind of

therapy for for me.

yeah, it was

for me. Live independently was, uh, completely something different than

I was used to over over the years When,

um when I was living in a hostel first I was homeless

in 2017, then about two years in, in in the hostels,

Um, detox rehab.

So all of that

Well, I would say five or six years,

uh, you know, going through that. So at the end. I can

start over, like, literally. Now is the time when I'm when I'm starting over, I

you have a safe place to come back home

place. I can call my

mind. Almost students.

Uh,

so do you think there's the independence that you have now?

That's, like, quite a significant thing in terms of

of, like, the improvements that you've experienced in your life

when you

when you don't have when you are not independent.

I mean, I always have to

look at other people who, um,

for others to tell me what to do. And

like I did I,

I realised that, you know, the there were people who were also helping me.

But, you know,

I don't I was always saying that I don't want to depend on others for for forever.

I believe there are those institutions, uh, to help you for a while, but

you are the one who

have to do the job

where you can live like that

forever. Which is also the about the benefit system.

And I believe that, you know, is there to help you for a while. But you can't,

you know, rely on it for for for a long time. So,

um,

because of my my, my my conditions, Um,

I'm type one diabetic. Uh, I'm I still struggle with PTSD

and

therapies. Uh, I know that, um,

To be working somewhere would be difficult, because I,

I got my glucose level going down.

Uh, all of a sudden, uh, I'm feeling aware. I'm struggling to be

around people with the social anxiety. Um,

So I was trying to find a way how I can work from from home.

I was trying to figure out, um, you know,

because I know that people actually does that, and it is possible.

that was my, um, other. Another idea what I can do from home.

So I look into the forex market.

Uh, the currencies, how to buy exchange currencies, how the market works.

Uh, I'm still working on that,

uh, some bigger success. Sometimes

I'm not doing well, but it's just

learning process III I like.

I like to say this learning process, and I believe it's something you can actually

you can make good money from.

We are moving

without going to to work to to actual work, to stay somewhere a few hours or,

you know, try to find a way. Uh, you know, in order to do that, you

need

have the safe, safe environment. You know, I, I won't be doing it living in a hostel.

Uh,

because it's it's an unsafe place. And, you know,

I've got stuff stealing from me. My TV goes missing, my wallet goes missing, and

if you leave something viable in your room and just forget to lock it for a while, But

someone walk in there and then just take it despite people,

So that's yeah, for for me, that's the That's the difference to

live in a in, in a place like that,

flood like this

with the organisation and

that,

uh, such as na na.

I know I've got support. I'll come

as a

support worker

if I need anything

or I don't know, something I can always call him and he he he's helping me out.

In the meantime, uh,

I'm able to continue my education

to do,

uh,

the English course GG CS E.

Uh, in the meantime, I, um

I'm hoping to to finish my book this year and get

it published and see where where that will take me.

and I'm still working on on, uh, forex market. I'm still learning to to do that.

And I believe that

this whole thing in the

in the future would pay. Pays out that, You know, that could be something I can

I can do for for, for for a living. I will

support

support me. Uh, financially. Uh,

then I can come up, come up from the benefit system. I would quit

simply I.

did. You know, some people getting lazy or live on benefit.

So? So we would say, Look, uh,

I'm getting £1000

a month because of my illness, and

and, uh, i'll go flat, which I don't have to pay

for right now. So there's, like, why?

Why I should be working, looking for, for for a job.

People getting up five o'clock in the morning, going, going to work. And

why I have to do this if I you know, I don't have to pay for my FII.

I don't like this kind of

thinking. Um,

I want to be independent. Uh, I, I want to do my my own money.

Um, I'm on this. I'm in the system right now,

just

just to get through.

And then

once I feel I'm I'm

I'm stable. Uh, I've got everything under control. My my

mental health is better. I've got

my certificate to see how the

with the education what? What next I want to do, uh, my book is probably

I'm doing some money, uh, by trading currencies,

and then I would I would say, All right, I'm good.

I mean, I don't have to I don't want to take benefits anymore, and

that's the ultimate goal.

But in the independence is a is a big thing for you, and I mean

to have full independence. I'm I'm saving money

with, uh I don't know if you're familiar with because money box, it's a government

here.

I'm putting money there,

believe £20

I don't

know. 900 is not a lot, but with the time and

and then it is building a good, uh, history of financial history.

So if I want to buy a property in the future that also this is this money I don't touch,

you know, put in there

to make it work for for itself by getting some bonuses and stuff,

but Also,

I will know that there in

the future, if I if I need it. Uh

and is that something that

macros helped you with?

This

one? I

just

came

across

self taught information.

And

you mentioned that you were studying for your English G CS E.

And And what's what's that been like? How's how's that helped you?

I mean, it is once a week, just for three hours.

I'm going to the class before I was in pre

G CS E. Uh,

I mean, I. I, uh I do struggle with social anxiety, so I don't

really feel uncomfortable to be around people for for a long time. And I,

I was going to, uh,

to employment academies,

and that helps me to do,

you know, just

for force myself to be somewhere

with people for for for longer.

And and I realised that not everyone is as bad as you know, as a people. I used to meet

back

at the hostel

on the street and came across really,

but people who, you know,

I was getting beaten up,

was

robbed. So

over the years, I

kind of put up those boundaries

boundaries around me, uh, that I don't want anyone to get through. Um,

I'm on my own by myself. I don't have anyone around, and I feel comfortable like that.

You can't really live your life this way.

You need to interact.

So I started with with that and with the house of vulnerable,

Uh, once I graduate, uh,

I'll go support worker for another year. And this lady, I was studying for, that

I would like to

start studying

and to go to college,

and she was helping me to apply for the course. So

as well as like, actually getting the qualification in

it, like

sort of getting acclimatised and getting used to being around people

and social settings is a big thing for you as well.

It's a

long

process. I mean,

for someone who's

who's like me, I'm

PTSD.

would never feel comfortable when someone would drop

me out from my room and force me to

to be somewhere like, um,

I could just Sometimes I can just completely shut down.

When, when I'm in the class where I'm

I'm

going to panic attacks

at a time when I have to leave,

uh, the classroom for example, Um,

it was it was really difficult at times.

And so my my glucose level is going down sometimes

without, you know,

the wrong reason. And

yeah, so all all that it makes, you know, for me makes it difficult to

to do something like that, like to go to be around people,

But he has to be doing it like slowly.

It's a long process, you

know, for his day.

And the next week,

you know, slowly start to

start

to, uh, get feel more comfortable and then, you

know,

my case, I

just continue.

I want to do

well

because I knew when I go, I'll be back to my room, lock myself in. I'm gonna stay there.

I can't

have this to happen again.

I need to continue pushing myself and

do more things. So, you know, this is what I I

I'm sticking to this now

since G CS C on to the first and then

with the lotion college

to see what?

And is that something that

macros helped you with as well, in terms of, like linking you in with

opportunities? Or is it something that

the

house of

partner

I was

talking to them. I. I knew I wouldn't get to college,

Uh, before

So, yeah, I

got a support

worker for for for a year. And

because this organisation, they

have a

job.

They telling you, uh, you learning how to

how to behave at the interviews, For example, Uh,

how to write your CV what to expect from employ a typical, uh,

employment academy.

And

my my my goal was a bit different because I knew that, you know, with my conditions, I,

I won't be able to to to get to work right away.

So I was there for

different reasons.

Was there to interact with with people and in the meantime,

learn something. So once I graduate, I was telling that

I want I want to

I want to study first

and yeah, it's even better for for for my super worker here. So he will have

so so many things to do with me, right?

You know,

regarding him

looking for

a college?

Yeah,

it just it just shows you, though, like this. It's not just when

when you get involved in training and

courses and things like that,

it's not just like the qualification that people get out of it like this.

The social side of things and the

getting used to being around people if you've struggled with that

in the past can be a massive thing as well.

it's really interesting to hear how it's

to see to see other side,

like, because I was

I was kind of, uh, locked in this bubble

where

you know, I. I believe that everyone

everyone want to use me, everyone want to.

It's just bad people out there and

I mean, let's be honest. It's it's London. And when you

when you live in, like, shady,

shady places uh, you you know, you

can meet

in the sort of of people

which, which I did, comes from prostitutes to drug contacts

to,

you know, all all of that. And

over the years, I believe that, you know, most of people are are like that.

And for me to see, um, other side,

uh, there are actually good people out there who

who want to help other status

or organisation.

It was something completely

different. Um

I mean, I, I have to do it for myself also

in order to

to function

in my

life

build up. Trust is a

massive thing

with, like, a

just in society as general, Not even like on an individual level,

just like thinking of

the world as a whole.

It's just your whole perception of reality is just shifting.

I suppose,

until now, I This is the reason why I'm wearing my mask. Because I like to hide my face.

Not because I've got something to hide. I'm a criminal or something.

It just make me feel comfortable

out there. And you know, the people around me, I can

I can see that someone look at me.

It's just, you know,

because they may be afraid of something because it doesn't look.

Yeah,

it looks,

guess.

I don't know. I don't think it looks shady.

I think it just I think because of covid,

everyone's kind of used to the the mask thing.

So I Yeah, I don't think you look shady.

Yeah. If it makes you feel comfortable, then you've got you do it in it. It

makes sense.

Is there anything else that you'd like to share before we finish the interview?

Uh,

I don't know what else I could say. I mean

those those institutions is a such a

macro of Cairo's community to us.

and they they are out there. And,

you know, I believe the people who want to help themselves, they need to

reach out.

And,

uh, I met so many addicts,

uh,

to going to my my

my my life. Uh, I know that not everyone is is able to to do it, And it is

It is difficult. Uh, you changing your life drastically.

Um, I couldn't imagine my life without alcohol already. It was on daily

daily basis to To to the, uh to the point where

where I couldn't when I couldn't function without it.

I I have to have a drink first thing in the morning to to to to stop shakes and

and stuff.

And then when you're going through through detox and I it is painful,

especially from

from heroin, you know, you got the wet drops and

and all that and

people can do it. I mean, it is it is doable.

If you really want to change your life, that

enough is enough.

Need to say to yourself at some point

and there are those organisations out there

to give you a hand at the end of it

when you go through detox

rehab

and you want to keep pushing

to change your life, to get it to to make it better and

everyone can do it.

Um, I will be clean for years in

in the next year, and I'm I'm not even buying tiramisu right now because it

is the AL

buy. My mouth

was

without

I. I

don want to push my L, you know,

at any point. And

yeah, I know that

people can It can be so for for for many years and then relapse.

How how? How do they call it? Anything can happen in your life

familiar with that,

and

you feel like you want to have a drink.

I want

if you

if you're alcoholic, let's say and you're

going through the process, starting with

a a

12 steps. You don't have to necessarily do the 12 steps because it's a long

process. I managed to

get to the second one only.

There's a lot of writing a lot of

starting with your life story, and

once you

you do that, you you learn

what not to do what can trigger your your your relapse.

And if you can take all of it to your

to your mind,

you will become strong enough to to realise,

you know, to to know what to avoid,

how to behave. Let's say, uh no matter what happen if you go to realise,

you won't mean that. In my opinion, I

I'm never planning to go back to drinking again

today. Um,

that's what What? What I can say. I'm I'm I'm sober. I'm

I'm getting my life back.

You know, I'm almost starting my life now, at the age of 3515 years gone,

Uh, you know, I will never get it back.

That was the time when

I believe I could do something with my life already. Now I'm starting.

I'm starting to do it.

I'm still glad that, you know I can do it at

this age because I've met people who are over 50

they're trying to

They want to do it.

Same thing, you know, stop over. I mean, at this age.

And it could be

Yeah,

I suppose, if any, if any anybody that wants to change,

there's not like there's not a cut off point.

in terms of age, it's just

No, it's nothing. It's stopping you.

It's only you, really. I mean,

you can, uh, someone else kind of tell you Like if you really

struggle with alcohol or drugs

but,

you know, I think other people can see if you want.

You know, I was I was saying that, you know, other people,

others got problem with me drinking, so

drinking business.

So it's not

problem, you

know,

but yeah. If you

if someone else is telling you, you should change something,

you should stop drinking.

You, you will never study. This is the first thing you have to say to yourself.

You need to realise

self

realisation.

I mean,

if that's the case.

Well, if thank you so much for sharing your story. And yeah, if

do you have anything else to say before I stop the recording

now?

Well, thank you very much. I'll stop the recording.

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Posted By

Author

Georgia Davenport

Post date

01/11/2023