Thomas's Experience as a Father accessing healthcare on behalf of their children - Part 1

Thomas's Experience as a Father accessing healthcare on behalf of their children - Part 1

Thomas's Experience as a Father accessing healthcare on behalf of their children - Part 1

Thomas shares his experiences of fatherhood and accessing healthcare on behalf of his children.

This particular experiences was a positive one about an excellent relationship with a community midwife who was very supporting and positive about physical activity during pregnancy, which was validating from Thomas's wife who was already physically active, especially during pregnancy. Whilst Thomas highlighted positive experiences with this community midwife including an acknowledgement of his mental health and wellbeing as a new father, he notes that other community midwives and health visitors who did not know him personally and we more focussed on his wife and son's health and wellbeing (perhaps less interested or concerned about his based on observations of body language). Through conversation Thomas was able to express that he has been supporting his wife throughout her pregnancy and labour, and has had the opportunity to have a decent paternity leave to help out. Whilst Thomas recognises the health visitors are there for the health and wellbeing check for his wife and son, he felt that it would have been encouraging to have been asked about his own health and wellbeing, given that he has also gone through a massive life transition.

Transcript

I'm a father of two boys aged, uh, soon to be 3 years old and a 5 month old. Um, my, my wife and I have been very, very lucky that we've had a fantastic community midwife, um, who just happens to be a friend of ours that we've known in the running community for a few years now, um, who's been very supportive and um very encouraging. of us to continue to be physically active during pregnancy, which has been very validating, particularly for my wife, who was able to run pretty much up to due date for both boys during pregnancy and to keep active and socialising during that time. Um, second time round, we, we had a few community midwives who, who came in and visited after our second son was born

Um, including our, our friend that we know, um, who was very supportive of, of our parenting and what we were doing and the opportunities we were providing for our child. Um, I, I felt as a dad that the other community midwives who perhaps didn't know who I was and wasn't expecting me to be at home post pregnancy, um. Probably a little unsure of of who I was at the time and perhaps didn't think that I knew as much about the uh the journey that my wife had been through or expected of what dads thought they knew about uh pregnancy and labour

Um but after through conversation and sharing, you know, the what I was there uh throughout, um, they became a bit more understanding. That I was, I was very much involved throughout the pregnancy and labour of my, of my wife for both of our boys. Um, I also felt that actually, um, some of the health visitors were on reflection, perhaps were a bit unsure of me being around and I recognised that obviously they're there as a wellbeing check for my wife and baby, but um I, I felt

Just even in things like their body language and um. Just the fact that they were directing the questions towards my wife and the baby, that they weren't necessarily interested or or were that concerned about me or my wellbeing. Um, and it was only a slight observation and it wasn't something of, of concern, but I just felt like I, I definitely noticed that

um Obviously I've been very fortunate to have a month paternity leave off for both of my children. Um, I've been able to support my wife and my sons, um, during those early stages. Um, so I had a lot to offer and we had a lot of discussion, and it didn't faze me, but I do recognise that that might be quite challenging for dads

Who were off um during paternity leave and, and not necessarily being asked about how they are and how they feel, um, or necessarily being off at all and and perhaps being at work by the time the the health visitors and the community midwives come to visit. So it's just something that I, Picked up on, on reflection, particularly with our second son, then our first son, but I do have other experiences of, you know, just encounters with health and care professionals that made me question whether they were actually there was any interest or any concern with my wellbeing as a father as well.